A Giggle is Enough

What if you decided you wanted to learn to fly an airplane, but you knew nothing about it? Would you just climb in the cockpit of a 747 and give it a try? What would your odds of success be? What are the odds that you crash and burn?

I see many people new to the “Pickup Artist” community trying to become Mystery or Style or Juggler or whomever overnight. They can’t understand why they hit sticking points, and sometimes assume it’s something wrong with them. The problem is, you need to learn every step of the process in a logical progression. Whether you use Mystery Method, Zen Method, or whatever method, you need to take it a step at a time and work on the areas where you get stuck.

For many beginners, the approach is the biggest hurdle, and for many “Master Pickup Artists” approach anxiety is still an issue. Working on this issue in isolation will help you build your “approach muscles” to the point that you can then concentrate on other aspects of your method. One easy way to do this is set a very easy goal for yourself. Approach women and say something, anything, that will get them to laugh, giggle, or at least smile. That’s it. After that if you want to just walk off, or say, “nice talking to you,” and walk off, that’s fine. Very low pressure. Just get the giggle and go.

You’ll learn a lot of things from this simple exercise. First, that you will get a positive response from almost every woman you approach. It’s amazing how friendly most women are. Second, you get a real buzz from this. It’s fun to interact with other people. Just by virtue of being human, even if you consider yourself the most anti-social person on earth, the truth is your brain is hard wired for social interaction. Tapping into that part of yourself feels good, even if you have to dust off some cobwebs first.

Finally, I think you’ll find that you want the interaction to continue. The nervousness becomes secondary to the desire to keep it going. How to keep it going is detailed in my book, as well as the many other methods out there. Pick one and study it. Once you’re consistently getting the giggle, you’ll want to start going for the gold.

Good luck.

PUA Overdose? Empty your cup.

A professor visited a Zen Master, hoping to learn about Zen. "May I get you some tea?" asked the Master, showing the Professor into his den and offering him a seat. "Yes, thank you, I'd appreciate that," said the Professor.The Master poured the tea from a large teapot into the cup, and continued pouring the tea as the cup filled and ran over the side onto the table, and then onto the floor. The Master continued pouring the tea. The Professor finally jumped and yelled, "STOP, the cup is overfull, the tea is pouring all over the floor." The Master put the teapot down, and said to the Professor, "Before I can teach you about Zen, you must first empty your cup."

So first off, we've learned a valuable lesson. If you visit a Zen Master, wear your galoshes. But seriously now folks, what's this story all about? I see many people who are new to PUA take the same route. Often they start off reading “The Game”. They want to take the same path that Neil Strauss did, they want to learn every style of PUA. Soon they are reading every eBook and listening to every MP3 out there. This causes two problems. First, when do they have time to practice what they read? Second, once they have the chance, which style should they use? Some people end up with the full cup syndrome, there’s no room left to learn because the cup is already full, or overflowing.

So how does one empty the cup? I find meditation extremely helpful in returning me to “beginner’s mind.” This is the state of not knowing, just being. Forget everything you’ve learned and just be in this moment, totally free and without preconception or judgment. From that place of total freedom you can do anything. Even approach that HB10 over there.

There is a great deal to be learned out there, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Keep an open mind, and try to be spontaneous in your approach. Leave room in the cup for new experiences so you continue to experiment and learn.

To learn more about Zen meditation and meeting women, I encourage you to buy my book, “The Zen of Meeting Women”.

The book will be out soon

The current plan is to have the new book, "The Zen of Meeting Women", ready for purchase by the end of November. The proof is on the way to me right now for review. If all is well, it might be available a little early. Fingers crossed.

As always, visit this blog for the latest updates.