A Giggle is Enough

What if you decided you wanted to learn to fly an airplane, but you knew nothing about it? Would you just climb in the cockpit of a 747 and give it a try? What would your odds of success be? What are the odds that you crash and burn?

I see many people new to the “Pickup Artist” community trying to become Mystery or Style or Juggler or whomever overnight. They can’t understand why they hit sticking points, and sometimes assume it’s something wrong with them. The problem is, you need to learn every step of the process in a logical progression. Whether you use Mystery Method, Zen Method, or whatever method, you need to take it a step at a time and work on the areas where you get stuck.

For many beginners, the approach is the biggest hurdle, and for many “Master Pickup Artists” approach anxiety is still an issue. Working on this issue in isolation will help you build your “approach muscles” to the point that you can then concentrate on other aspects of your method. One easy way to do this is set a very easy goal for yourself. Approach women and say something, anything, that will get them to laugh, giggle, or at least smile. That’s it. After that if you want to just walk off, or say, “nice talking to you,” and walk off, that’s fine. Very low pressure. Just get the giggle and go.

You’ll learn a lot of things from this simple exercise. First, that you will get a positive response from almost every woman you approach. It’s amazing how friendly most women are. Second, you get a real buzz from this. It’s fun to interact with other people. Just by virtue of being human, even if you consider yourself the most anti-social person on earth, the truth is your brain is hard wired for social interaction. Tapping into that part of yourself feels good, even if you have to dust off some cobwebs first.

Finally, I think you’ll find that you want the interaction to continue. The nervousness becomes secondary to the desire to keep it going. How to keep it going is detailed in my book, as well as the many other methods out there. Pick one and study it. Once you’re consistently getting the giggle, you’ll want to start going for the gold.

Good luck.

The Game is Played in the Field

I was looking through my copy of Mystery Method and hit this section, which I thought I'd toss up on the blog for your edification.

The Game is not played on a computer or the Internet. It's not played in a book. It's played in the real world, with real people and real situations. Only through repeated practice in the field can we gain intuition and skill. Over time, these methods become habitual. Once internalized over a few disciplined weeks, it is in fact easier to keep doing them than to stop.

Focus on building your skill, not on getting laid or meeting your new girlfriend. Think of it like you are learning a new video game.

Don't obsess over a particular woman. Forget about that girl you have been pining over for the past three months.

Don't bother getting good at fixing things in the damage zone. It's easier to attract a new woman than it is to fix things when they go wrong with your existing target. (When things go right, attraction is created in seconds or minutes, and sex occurs in four to ten hours.)

Some good advice. He's actually packed a lot in here. Let's break it down a bit.
1. Get off your butt and go practice your game in the real world. That's where you'll really learn how to do this stuff.
2. Focus on learning and improving, not on getting laid.
3. Start fresh. Instead of putting energy into that one girl you've been wanting to nail, just get out and meet lot's of new women. Work on your skills.

All good stuff. I see a lot of newbies drawn to PUA because there's this "one girl" they've been working on, and they haven't made any progress, or they've gotten stuck. Nothing wrong with that, but what if you dropped her for a month and met 100 new women instead of working on her. Would that get her attention, seeing you with a new woman every time she passes you by? Would the total freeze out get her attention? Only one way to find out, my friends. The Game is played in the field, so that's where you need to be.

Good luck.

To Neg or not to Neg

"Negging" is playful teasing of the girl you're interested in. It's commonly used in a situation where she is with her friends, and you're trying to get her "shield" down by playing like you aren't interested in her. It can also be used to create a playful dynamic with her. But for many people, negging just backfires. The girl feels insulted and loses interest.

So that brings us to the question, to Neg or not to Neg?

Consider just not negging at all. I think negging is over-rated and frequently done wrong. You need to establish the right playful dynamic and have some foundation of attractio and comfort built before you throw a neg. And at that point, why bother? In other words, there really is no good time for a neg. Again, just my opinion.

Mystery, one of the most famous of the pickup artists, uses negs all the time and has success with them (unless you measure success as long term relationships, based on The Game). If you watch Mystery in action, you can see that he creates a context in which a neg will be taken the right way, he's acting like a big brother when he does it. This is hard to pull off right. If you can do it, it establishes a closeness because only someone close to you would dare throw a neg.

But for most people I would advise not using negs. I think there are other safer and easier ways to establish a quick connection that feel more natural for more people.

If negs are working for you, go for it. But if you're pissing girls off with your negs, I'd leave it behind and work on other parts of your game.

Good luck.